So I took the kids, my eight-year-old daughter and my seven-year-old son trick or treating last night. We set out to one of the most liberal cities in Massachusetts, Arlington and we went door-to-door in the enclaves and neighborhoods of the moonbats. Little did I know what strange events would unfold…

The first house we went to gave my kids carbon credit certificates signed by Al Gore.

The next house gave them donations in their name to some charity.

Then another gave them those new-fangled twisty-looking light bulbs.

We went to this one block of houses owned by ACORN activists and instead of candy the children got cigarettes and were registered to vote twelve times each.

At one point my 8-year-old looked up at me with tears in her eyes and asked me “Why Daddy why?” All I could do at that point was hold back the tears myself. It was at that moment that I decided action must be taken. The wrong had to be righted.

This was not Halloween this was absurdity.

“Back to the car kids!” I yelled as the plan formed in my head: egg the liberals’ houses. We drove to the supermarket where the plan was almost thwarted. Despite the ban on egg sales on Halloween I used the children as proof I was on the up-and-up.

Ten minutes later we were having a blast exacting revenge on the people that gave them crappy Halloween treats.

“Here’s your trick you frigging moonbats!” the kids and I yelled in unison as we hurled the oblong grenades of messiness at the hippies’ living quarters of hypocrisy.

Then it dawned on me… I don’t have any children.
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