chelle b

Welcome to ‘Bloggers Speak‘, the on-going feature where I sit down with other humor bloggers and ask them a bunch of crazy and odd questions. Today I am joined by Chelle B. from the humor blog Offended Blogger.

Normally I would ask ”how’s it hanging” but since Chelle doesn’t have an ‘it‘ that hangs I skipped this part…

Worst movie sequel ever made?

Hands down, Caddyshack II.

Any fan of the movie Caddyshack would have to agree with me on this one, right?

I mean, what the hell were they thinking? It was like they were spitting a big ol’ theatrical lung booger into the faces of Caddyshack fans with that piece of drivel.

Senator Nancy Pelosi hasn’t gotten any action in quite some time. What do you think is the over/under on years since Pelosi has had sex and why?

Between you and me, I don’t believe Nancy Pelosi has ever had sex, which is why she has that freakish look on her face all the time. Or maybe that’s why she’s never had sex to begin with, I dunno.

I mean, either way, would you do her??

I know I definitely wouldn’t do her!! Well, you know, if I had the equipment to do her with that is.

Blech!

Van Halen question- Sammy or Dave?

Hmmm! That’s a hard one! I think I will have to say that I would have preferred to dance in the streets and run with the devil with Dave. Well, back when he was in his prime of course.

Nowadays he looks like he has been run over by the devil’s private fleet of garbage trucks.

Blech again!

Your significant other tells you that the news that semen can be used as an alternative fuel source. Never leave the house or take a trip cross-country?

Ooooh! My bags would be packed and I’d be strapped in and ready to go before he even finished (telling me the news story that is).

Hooyah!

What celebrity would you curse with a plague and why?

A better question would be which celebrity wouldn’t I curse with a plague! They are all just lucky I don’t have the ability to curse them all because I’d be a cursing fool. Hell, I’d make it a full time job cursing celebrities.

I mean honestly, are there any celebrities worthy of not cursing these days?

Ugh.

What would be the funniest way to dump a boyfriend?

Ummm… by calling to tell him that I heard on the news that semen can be used as an alternative fuel source and that I decided to do my part to help the environment (and my favorite baseball team!) by hitching a ride on the Mariner’s bus?

If you could create your own court procedural drama what would it focus on?

Oh, I’m sorry, I’m still daydreaming that I’m on the Mariner’s bus doing my part to save the planet…

What was the question??

Oh yeah! Of course it would be all about those poor afflicted people who sue over being offended by something, what else?!

I would have to be the judge though, and believe me, I would make Judge Judy look like Mary frigging Poppins.

Thanks for taking the time to do this Chelle. Any final thoughts?

Oh, I’m sorry, I’m still daydreaming that I’m on the Mariner’s bus doing my part to save the planet…

What was the question??

Chelle B’s question for the readers:

If you could pick just one illegal offense to commit, and you were guaranteed to get away with it, what would it be and why?

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