Karaoke, the most shameless fad ever rose to fame in the 1980’s, and its demon spawn continues to roam the Earth in search of bad singing.

Like Jason Voorhees, it comes back time and time again, each version worse then the previous one. The hysteria began to fade in the 90’s but during its reign over bar and club entertainment it created local musical celebrities.

A typical karaoke night usually consisted of drunken office workers blowing off steam, drunken patrons also blowing off steam and generally a ton of drinking. This was the foundation.  It just didn’t work when alcohol wasn’t involved. You had to be under the influence to stand up in front of an equally-inebriated crowd to belt out off-key renditions of “Born to Be Wild”.

The heck with the breathalyzer, the police should administer the Karaoke Test. I have even done the research:

Clearly you can see the relationship between surpassing the legal limit and the willingness to get up in front of a crowd to sing “Living on a Prayer”.

Imagine the cops pulling someone over, asking them to step out of the car, and then playing “Love Train” by the OJ’s over the intercom. The police would no longer need a breathalyzer.

But I’m jumping the gun here.

Always amongst the crowd were those few people who treated the night like it was their big audition. They were the karaoke celebrities.

These people sat right by the “stage” and got up every five songs or so to belt out classic tunes, much like Barry Manilow does these days. It was their “set” so to speak, and they were true professionals, even bringing a sweat towel and bottled water.

You have to keep the vocal chords moist of course.

The fad then moved into the home, and people gave karaoke machines as really awful Christmas gifts. Before this happened, the only annoying thing about that magical day was the noises the toys made. You can’t turn off Cousin Sally while singing “La Isla La Bonita” five times in a row. She is family after all.

Then along came FOX’s American Idol, re-inventing the concept of karaoke. People with mediocre talent competed with other nominal talent while being berated on their lack of singing ability by the judges, and all for ad revenue. This time however, there was no alcohol involved. The home audience was allowed to drink though, as well as Paula Abdul.

Karaoke reached the crowing achievement however with the advent of YouTube. It led even millions more people into believing they aren’t as much of a musical hack as they really are all without having to compete live against other people with fractional amounts of musical talent singing other people’s songs.

Again, alcohol is optional, but this works best late at night once Denny’s closes and the drunks are home.

You do have to wonder if people doing this crap on YouTube really are amateurs. But who knows where that will lead them. Perhaps they will get an agent, redo their look, lose some weight, and begin doing original numbers.

In the end this is just another audition for them I suppose, with sweat towel and bottled water in hand.