Misremembering Sports This Week

After a week of Congressional busy-bodying into baseball and football, it was refreshing to find out they replayed the Super Bowl and the Patriots won!

That was until I realized it actually was a gift to the citizens of Nicaragua by a charity.

Nothing is more uplifting to the downtrodden then t-shirts of losing teams. I bet the same people behind this stupid idea are the ones who think there shouldn’t be score keeping in Little League.

And how often is this done anyways? Are there millions of people with almost-championship apparel? If I ran one of these countries, I’d convince the population that the teams really did win. Imagine the fun the tourists will have trying to figure out what the fuck is going on.

Since the third world is allowed to misremember the outcomes of sporting events can we do the same with members of Congress grilling athletes? Or should I say brown-nosing.

The amount of ass-kissing in Roger Clemens’ direction had me wondering if maybe Winstrol wasn’t the cause of Roger’s butt abscesses. The winner of the political grandstand award of the week however goes to Arlen Specter who met with Roger Goodell this week to discuss Spygate.

Of course these are very important issues which demand our leaders’ attention. We can see it causing problems in our lives. I ran into an old friend recently who is a teacher. She told me the children have a new game where they run around the playground trying to stick each other in the buttocks with dirty needles used by homeless people.

The kids call it The Rocket Game. See what I mean?

Thankfully, it turns out there are some things in sports we might actually want to remember this week.

Curly from the Harlem Globetrotters got his number retired at Madison Square Garden and that brings up the obvious question: Would they beat an NBA team?

I don’t know. They could probably beat Memphis but not Boston. Maybe Cleveland. Something like that might be a good idea for the NBA All-Star festivities this weekend.

So how about the Globetrotters versus the NBA’s best players instead? Have that be the All-Star game.

Nevermind. Stupid idea. It would be over at half-time.

Just misremember that last one.
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Tagged as:  football · Humor · NFL · Sports · super bowl