Jesus is late by quite a few years. Sixteen and counting. He must be really busy. Maybe he had to pick up his dry cleaning or something on the way to the Rapture.

Jesus: “Hey Peter, up for some Madden?”
St. Peter: “Only if I get to be the Cowboys.”
Jesus: “Sure. I’ll be Detroit.”
St. Peter: “Do you ever NOT play the underdog?”

I wonder if the resurrection, the whole thing that got the stone rolling was real. What if it was a joke by one of the apostles?

Maybe in the middle of the night Peter and his friends moved the rock and waited for the mourners to arrive. When they did and saw what happened, they assumed resurrection. Before Peter could tell them they were Punk’d, it was too late, someone had already run back to town.

Paul: “Peter what do we do now? We can’t tell everyone it was a joke. They will shun us.”
John: “Hey I’m only recording this second-hand. Don’t blame me.”
Peter: “Well I guess we could start a religion?”

On a side note, this is also how Scientology was created, only with men from Mars eating Cadillacs and Subarus and no Aston Kutcher.

So was Jesus simply mortal-curious or is he coming back?

Peter: “Jesus isn’t today the day you return to Earth and bring eternal salvation?”
Jesus: “Not now Peter. Dancing with the Stars is on.”
Peter: “What about the world?”
Jesus: “Hey you are the one who started all this with the resurrection joke.”
=========================================