Is your panda too lazy to get into the mood? Is eating and sleeping the only things he wants to do?

Okay that would be really weird if you had a panda, much less a horny one. But if you owned a zoo you would be concerned.

Well, it’s time to stop worrying because science is on the case with a new weapon in the war against panda laziness: Panda Porn.

“If they don’t like the female’s personality, or the female does not like the male’s personality, you won’t mate.”

Ever thought of using alcohol? Works great for the human species.

Start with the booze. Then show the pandas some porn and send them on their drunken way to the ladies.

But there is a high probability it could all backfire. If the pandas become alcoholics and knock up too many females the whole experiment could turn into an animal trailer park. And then we’ll need to sell them cigarettes and wife beater t-shirts.

That would not be good.

Worse if it happened at the same time the koalas ran out of eucalyptus leaves. Horny, drunken pandas and koalas coming down off their high are a bad combination.

Maybe we should rethink giving animals liquor and porn. Unless it is goat porn because that’s okay.

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