Bloggers Speak: Riding With Rickey Interview

Welcome back everyone to another installment of Bloggers Speak where Angry Seafood sits down with fellow humor bloggers for some interesting and of course funny discussions.

Today I am joined by Rickey from the humor blog Riding with Rickey and he’s so prolific the interview had to be divided into two parts with the second half posting tomorrow.

How’s it hanging Rickey?

Rickey wonders, where exactly did this phrase come from? Back from those rollicking medieval days when hanging people was popular? Because if so, it’s not hanging at all, thank you very much. However if this question is referring to Rickey’s man-junk, then it’s hanging wonderfully, as Ms. Henderson, several woodland creatures, and the U.S. Second Circuit Court of Appeals can all attest to.

Say Hollywood is pitching a new Little Rascals movie except the gang is now grown up and living in our modern times. Who plays the roles of Spanky, Alfalfa, and the rest of the Rascals?

You realize that Rickey, not giving a flying fuck about the Little Rascals, had to look up the characters on Wikipedia, yes? Rickey never even watched the damned show… But alright, fine. Feed into Rickey’s delusional fantasy that he works for the William Morris agency… here’s the ideal cast for a mercifully nonexistent Little Rascals movie:

Spanky: Clint Eastwood (”get off my lawn, punk”)
Alfalfa: Wilford Brimley (because Type 1 Diabetes is hi-larious)
Darla: Estelle Getty (shit, she died? Fine, fetch Betty White, stat!)
Sunshine Sammy: Sidney Poitier (”they call me Mr. Goodbar!”)
Froggy: Ed Begley Jr. (anyone who’s seen him in “Pineapple Express” knows what Rickey’s talking about)

Follow-up: Now you’re the director of the same film. What would the plot be?

Think something along the lines of the movie “Cobb” where a reporter travels to a retirement home to interview a group of washed up and bitter has-been child actors. Spanky’s pissed that his 401K has been completely decimated. Alfalfa can’t figure out Medicare Part B. Sunshine Sammy is feuding with Darla over her decision to put McCain/Palin campaign posters on the front lawn. Froggy just wants his ungrateful grandkids to write him every now and then. It would be an unflinching look into the heart of the human condition. Too somber? Ok, fine, hijinks would ensue at some point in the movie.

Eddie Van Halen and Joe Satriani have a guitar duel. Who wins and why?

This reminds Rickey of the tag line for that Aliens vs. Predator movie: whoever wins, we all lose. Also, Rickey’s pretty confident that he could beat the snot out of either of them in Guitar Hero.

What should we do about stupid people?

Don’t associate with them–they actually have the ability to make you dumber. But what exactly are we alluding to here when we ask “what should we do” about them? Some sort of “final solution” for everyone in the country with a room temperature IQ? Are you suggesting that we pin logos of Frank Caliendo’s face on all the stupid people in this country and ship ‘em off in trains to a work camp in Montana ?

Look, people are free to be as utterly dumb and insipid as their hearts desire. That’s democracy in action. And Rickey is perfectly free to cast down scorn and contempt upon anyone who spends more than thirty minutes a month in a mall or doesn’t read more than one item written by a Sedaris sibling each week. What should we do about these people? Well, they’re certainly not going anywhere. In fact, they’ve taken over. They’re in power. They’re our celebrities, our politicians, our bible thumping cultural conservatives, and they ain’t exactly the minority ‘round these parts. In fact if you ask Rickey, it’s only a matter of time until they’re burning us all in cages.

Read Part Two of the Interview

[Humor-blogs.com has lots of funny blogs about things like how ointment is a fun word to say.]

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