Bloggers Speak: FIAR from Radioactive Liberty

Welcome to ‘Bloggers Speak‘ where I sit down with other humor bloggers and ask them a bunch of crazy and odd questions. Today I am joined by none other than my ‘boss’ and very funny political humor-ist Fiar from Radioactive Liberty.

How’s it hanging Fiar?

Well, I’ve been stuck on a loop watching the Easy Curves infomercial, so you tell me. It’s just mesmerizing. They should give that a Grammy, a Tony, an Oscar, or an Elmo. Whatever kind of award it is that brilliant masterpieces get. Give it the Nobel too. I’m so glad Al Gore invented the internet.

Worst movie sequel ever made?

Every single solitary Star Wars movie. You see, to make a sequel, first you have to make a movie that doesn’t suck, and deserves a follow up. Star Wars was an abomination. So, it’s utterly pointless that there was ever even one sequel - never mind 12 or 76 or however many atrocious Star Wars movies there are. Now the Easy Curves infomercial, on the other hand, certainly warrants a sequel.

Why is a tin hat ok but a head scarf not ok if you are an Obama disciple?

You see, a tin hat reflects the death rays of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy Machine. A head scarf conjures up images of Obama’s father’s heritage, and we’re not supposed to acknowledge that Barack Henry Obama is technically a Muslim by birth. In all honesty, this is only a problem inasmuch as the terrorists believe that turning your back on Islam should be punishable by death. So, no biggie. I hope he picks a good VP.

Van Halen question- Sammy or Dave?

Let me take this opportunity to say that the rumors permeating the internet are not true. I don’t masturbate that often. I’m not some kind of freak. Wait, what was the question? Oh, right. My vote goes to whichever one directed the Easy Curves infomercial. I think that was Dave.

If the Presidential Election was decided with a fist-fight who wins, Obama or McCain and what would the match be like?

Well, Obama would be running around crying and pissing his pants like a terrified little girl, and blubbering about “diplomacy” and “unconditional surrender,” But McCain might forget where he is and why, so it’s a draw.

What celebrity would you curse with a plague and why?

David Hasselhoff. I just want to punch that guy in the face every time I see him. He actually claimed to have been part of the inspiration for tearing down the Berlin Wall, because he performed there. I suppose it’s possible the German people just couldn’t bear the memory of his torturous performance there, but that’s nothing to brag about.

What would be the funniest way to kill a hippie moonbat?

Well, the best way is to spike their tofu with arsenic. I just love the irony of their precious “healthy” tofu killing them. But the funniest way has to be beating hippies. They’re so opposed to violence, so I just love the look on their face when they die by the thing they most fear. I think that Easy Curves thing should work pretty good at beating hippies with.

If you could create your own court procedural drama what would it focus on?

What do you mean, like Law and Order? I think it would focus on the making of the Easy Curves infomercial and beating hippies. It’s a formula that can’t lose.

Thanks for taking the time to do this Fiar. Any final thoughts?

I hate you. I hate the stupid look on your face. I hate the odd smell you always have.

I meant to say, Easy Curves! And remember kids, masturbation will not make you go blind. That’s just a lie parents tell their kids because they don’t want them to enjoy themselves in the safety of their own homes.

Oh, and uh. Thanks for the interview I suppose.

Fiar’s question for the readers:

Why are you still here? Did you not see the link to Easy Curves?

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