Bloggers Speak: Kevin from Pointless Banter

Welcome to ‘Bloggers Speak’ where I sit down with other humorists and ask them a bunch of crazy and odd questions. Today I am joined by none other than humor blogger and social media guru Kevin from Pointless Banter.

How’s it hanging Kevin?

A little to the right, I am a tad crooked. I think it was because I was kicked in the balls in the sixth grade by a girl. Was that too much information?

Worst movie sequel ever made and why?

There are sooooo many to choose from. Personally I think the “Debbie Does” series gets lame after she hits Austin. Also I would have to include the second Caddyshack, which I refuse to acknowledge was ever even made. If you can’t get the original cast to return you might as well give up on making the sequel.

Of all the crazy and nutso ex-girlfriends and hook-ups you have ever had, which one woman has you the most curious about how they are doing these days and why?

There was one girl I wrote about named Nicole. Link: http://pointlessbanter.net/2007/04/20/the-craziest-girl-i-have-ever-dated/

For some reason I just picture her sitting in a mental institution in a straight jacket mumbling my name over and over again.

Also there was this hot deaf girl that always wanted to date me but I couldn’t hang out with her because I hated hearing her voice on the phone. It was like Herman Munster was pretending to be Marlee Matlin. I always wondered what she would be like in bed and if her moans sounded like her voice. Also I think it would be fun to see if I could maintain an erection while she was talking dirty to me. The ultimate battle between creepy and sexy.

Van Halen question- Sammy or Dave?

Eddie’s replacement hip.

Someone makes the discovery that semen can be used as an alternative fuel source. Would we ever leave the house long enough to take advantage of the lower gas prices?

My house would be like Dubayi at that point. I would be building massive hotels and flying Tiger Woods in to golf because I would be energy rich.

What would be the funniest way to dump a girlfriend?

Normally I would say, “by shitting on her chest.” But that is just crass. I would love to see someone dump their girlfriend at a major sporting event via the Jumbotron. I am sick of those contrived and boring proposals. What better way for a girl to just emotionally collapse as her boyfriend dumps her in front of 30,000 people?

What is with your fixation with Different Strokes, and in particular the bike shop episode with Gordon Jump?

I was molested by a bike shop owner. Thanks for bringing this up and letting me rehash it yet again.
Honestly because it might be the creepiest yet funniest thing ever on TV. I remember growing up and watching it. I think it was the first time in my life I knew what the feeling of disgust was.

Which celebrity would you curse with a plague or a pox and why? (Can’t answer Ryan Seacrest or anyone from American Idol)

Paris Hilton, there is no celebrity on this planet I despise more.

Thanks for taking the time to do this Kevin. Any final thoughts?

If I had one I would share it.

Kevin’s question for the readers:

Will mongoloid ever be an acceptable term for retard?

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