Gods New Eden
The other night I got a phone call. I thought it was a telemarketer.
“Hello Chris?”
“Yes. Who is this?”
“It is God. How are you doing today?”
“Ok that is funny. I have to admit nobody ever used that one before…”
“No really it is me. Look outside. You now have a Porsche.”
“Wow that’s awesome! I guess you do exist.”
“Yup.”
“Hey the Porsche is gone, and my old car is back.”
“Sorry I couldn’t let you keep it. Those are the rules.”
“Aw man.”
“Be glad you aren’t Job.”
“So God, why are you calling me?”
“I was hoping you would be interested in donating money towards creating a family-oriented recreational center at the site where Eden used to be.”
“You want to make Eden into a theme park?”
“Well let’s not call it that. I prefer the term experience.”
”You can’t do that you are God! Exploiting people is for humans to do.”
“Where do you think you got that from, your mother’s side?”
“Hmm.”
“Look ten minutes ago you didn’t think I was real. Now you are trying to tell me how I should run things?”
“Ok ok.”
“Besides, it is not like I just started doing this. The Bible, for example is a collection of stories that already existed in earlier cultures.”
“Wait a minute, are you saying that you recycled old stories, repackaged them and mass marketed the whole thing?”
“Guilty.”
“Wow.”
“So, about that donation…”
“Do you take Visa?”
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Tags: eden, Misc, Religion, satire, theme parks
