Don’t be like most white people on St. Patrick’s Day
Written by Chris C on March 17th, 2008Before you head out for a day/night or both of heavy drinking followed by a morning of green poops and a splitting headache I would like to give the white people one piece of advice…
DO NOT DANCE.
Guys, this is what you look like to others trying to dance to P-Diddy, Three-Fidy or whatever the hell the rapper/hip-hop artist calls himself these days. Most times there will only be one or two women dancing with you meaning you will be surrounded by other dudes. There is nothing wrong with being gay, but if this is not the impression you are looking to make, it is best to avoid the whole thing altogether.
Be like the smart people and sit on the couch.
Ladies, don’t think you are off the hook. Just because Guns ‘N’ Roses is playing does not mean it is time to drunken dance. Watch yourself because one of you always falls or worse goes home with the Chris Farley professional impersonator in the video.
Don’t let that be you.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone and watch out for the liquor with the snake in the bottle. And remember friends don’t let friends beer goggle.
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17
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Hee hee hee! Thanks for the giggles Chris! Great writing as per usual. The only disagreement I have is that I think the people sitting on the couch at parties are the dullie dodo’s and the people brave enough to flail about are the cool kids. Can you tell I like to flail? Chris Farley was my idol and if I could have ever met the guy in person, I would have chained myself to his leg. LOVED that man.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with a bottle of Jagermeister. Hey, it’s in a green bottle! Am I going to flail tonight or what?! And I can avoid the whole green poop thing.
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Thanks Chris, you have not only saved me from embarrassment but also a trip to the emergency room.
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