(The Friday post will publish after this post does so it might not be up when you read this. Just go back later of course.)
I would also like to remind any new readers to Angry Seafood, and old alike that if you haven’t visited RL you are missing out on some really funny political humor.
For example, Les James is one of the contributors to the site and he is one funny bastard. I don’t even know if he is technically a bastard but none the less he is funny. He’s made the connection between biofuels and a certain Charlton Heston film. He has brought light upon the bathroom fixtures war and politics.
Tell me why again you aren’t reading Radioactive Liberty?
Good news Catholics! The Vatican says it is okay to believe in aliens:
“Just as we consider earthly creatures as ‘a brother,’ and ’sister,’ why should we not talk about an ‘extraterrestrial brother’? It would still be part of creation.”
So if there is life out there the only thing left to do is make sure they aren’t Islamic extremists.
Or French.
Some, like Jeff Peckmen have more pressing concerns. Does he wonder what would happen if the aliens didn’t believe in religion or gods? Is he worried that the aliens could be mimes? No, he lobbies the government to have a plan for traffic accidents involving UFO’s:
“It is important because if you’re driving down the highway and you saw a crash of a small spaceship and a car or a bus full of kids, you really wouldn’t know what to do,…”
See even a whacko who is 54, single, and still lives with his parents knows how to play politics by using the children for the sympathy vote. A bus full of kids? Cue up the sad violin music…
A week later he met with city officials to push his Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission idea. If voted in, it would deal with matters like deployment of Hazmat firefighters and how to prepare the basement bedroom for extraterrestrial visitors. The response was telling:
“Seven high school students from Littleton watched the hearing, wearing tin foil hats they had seen in “Signs,” the M. Night Shyamalan movie about aliens.”
If Peckman fails in his effort he says his next political move will be running for president of the Star Wars Fan Club.
My weekly Thursday post over at Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty is a fun one this time. Gore scolds us for causing a cyclone. How far will he go to get people to buy his carbon credits?
On a side note as you can see I installed a new theme. Is anyone having any issues with being able to comment, or navigate, etc…? If you are please let me know so I can fix any glitches.
Funny, this is what comes to mind every time I watch any kind of debating or commentary on the various news channels.
Here is what they are saying since some of it is hard to hear:
“Oh please, you can’t expect her to know how to run a country just because her husband did.”
“Excuse me? In addition to being former first lady, she had performed admirably as New York senator.”
“That’s debatable.”
“So is Obama’s experience level. Not to mention the question of his patriotism.”
“Oh don’t bring up this Reverend Wright crap again. If every politician were held responsible for the words of his associates…”
“Or her associates…”
“They wouldn’t…”
“This was not an associate. This was his pastor!”
“Right! This was his pastor! Not him! Not his words! You want to talk about personal accountability? How about all the ‘misremembered’ stories Shrill is spreading around the campaign trail?”
“Oh, and you have a perfect memory?”
“I’m not running for President!”
“Well, Bush did and look what happened.”
“Why are you bringing Bush into this? I didn’t vote for Bush. I wasn’t even born yet!”
“My point is, it’s time for men to stand aside and let a woman show America how it’s done.”
“Then why aren’t you bashing McCain too? He’s a man. You know why? Because he’s white!”
“Oh, please!”
“He’s white, and Barack is black, and you’re a racist!”
“Well, you’re a chauvinist!”
“At least my candidate didn’t cry on the campaign trail!”
“Well, at least my candidates middle name isn’t Hussein!”
“Oh, you did not just go there!”
“You’re right, I’m sorry. That was low.”
“Look, let’s just come together and stop fighting. Otherwise McCain will win.”
Later on this week we will know how many, or in this case, how few fathers the Texas Polygamist Cult’s 4,123 children have, thanks to DNA testing. Being that this is America there are always opportunities to make light of tragedy as well as gamble on it at the same time so here we go.
Over/Under on the amount of fathers in
the Texas Polygamist Cult: Thirty
Do you think the DNA results will be over thirty fathers or under?
Place your bets in the comments section. The winners receive absolutely nothing except the knowledge that you helped me make fun of weird people. I think that is a reward in it of itself.
Humor-blogs.com likes polygamy. Go there
to read funny blogs about multiple wives.
Today is Earth Day and I have decided to finally drink the Kool-Aid and buy into the moonbat, I mean liberal thinking on humans’ impact on Mother Gaia. From now on I am on board with all of it from global cooling in the 1970’s to global warming in the 1990’s to the global luke-warming today. Sorry I’m still new to this I meant climate change.
Here is what I would do to save Gaia because I’m a liberal now and I think people are anti-Earth.
Turn off the Internet
Holy crap it uses way too much electricity and it helps supports the right-wing agenda to destroy the planet. Daily KOS and MoveOn would be transitioned to their own cable channel to counter the Republican rhetoric of FOX News. Twelve channels of porn will also be added to the cable lineup. Being a liberal I need to be able to find the Godless debauchery and freakiness I crave.
Go Gaia!
Eliminate Auto Racing
It is one of the top sports in the world and uses a ton of oil. Besides, it is dangerous to have that many drunken Republican NASCAR fans in one place. And think of the methane they give off. Sure, we’d lose Danica Patrick but we also could ban movies about racing which generally suck.
Long live Gaia!
Start Killing People
Fewer humans mean less carbon footprints right? I am not saying we all start up a personal killing spree because being liberal means not having a gun or the ability to buy one. I think something more subtle, like the short story ‘The Lottery’ or the Carousel in Logan’s Run will work fine.
Viva Gaia!
Humor-blogs.comis fubared. But go there anyway and
maybe they will be up and running.
You have to laugh every time you think about that concept. Like they are going to win. I can hear the carpet-bagger lawyers now…
“Your honor, unlike modern two-parent families, there is always someone home during the day.”
I don’t get why anyone in their right mind would want more then one wife at the same time because it would be a pain in the ass as far as schedule coordination to say the least. How can I see Wife #2 when she’s busy at that time churning butter? What if Wife #43 had some free time but I was in the middle of a barn raising?
Of course this is nothing compared to your pickings for a wife in a polygamist cult. They be slim and obviously you’d have to wed all of them.
Creepy isn’t it? I see women like that and I wonder how many cats they own or how long they have worked at the high school cafeteria. If you are trying to sell me on a polygamy cult this is not doing it. In the world of reality sex sells. Show me something like this and I’m so in….
Call my secretary Wife #11, we’ll do lunch. Or in this case, get the priest so the secretary can become Wife #67.
Humor-Blogs.com is not a polygamist cult but they do worship funny.
This week’s Thursday guest post over at Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty is a hodge-podge, a mismash (or is it mismesh. Jeff help me out here!) of un-related news stories along with a harrowing and true mini-tale of helicopter crashes.
Of course it is about politics, except for the helicopter part. Enjoy.
Sorry if I spoiled it for you but Jesus is going to die on March 21, 2008 and then come back to life two days later. I don’t know about you but I’m getting tired of this act.
Boring.
Every year Jesus pulls the same lame-ass trick. Doesn’t he have anything new to show us? He has twelve months to work on new material but every Easter he goes back to the same-old same-old miracle trough.
Look at what this guy does! Separates a woman in half!
Tell me people wouldn’t listen to Jesus if he did stuff like this.
Jesus: That is what happens to non-believers!
Witness: Ahhhh!!! I’ll do whatever you say, just don’t rip me in half!
So Mister Son of God, I think it is time for some new magic tricks. Turning water into wine was a neat parlor amusement but its passé now. You could bless Ashley Alexandra Dupre but the last time you did that it turned into the Davinci Code.
Moses even outdoes you this time of year with his parting of the Red Sea. That act never gets old by the way Jesus because it is a classic. Any immortal being can raise themselves from the dead and move a boulder. Moses separates a body of water then closes it in on an incoming enemy army. That is pretty kick ass no matter how many times it’s repeated.
I can rent a machine that can move large rocks around. Am I a God? No, but neither was Moses and look what he did. C’mon Jesus you are going to have to do better then a resurrection trick to really amaze the crap out of people in 2008.
Of course all this criticism would be pointless without advice or a solution and I have the perfect one. I am not sure if it would be up your alley Jesus because it is true evil. Not as much as punting a puppy but still evil.
Everyone has cell phones that play videos these days. On Sunday morning you hack into everyone’s phones and set the call volume to the max setting as well as disable the ability to hang up or turn them off.
Then you call everyone and send them this video:
Easter would never be the same again if you Rickrolled everyone Jesus. Maybe for an encore you could bring back the Pope too.
Humor-Blogs celebrates Easter by marking lamb’s blood on
their blogs because that is how they roll. But not Rickroll.
Moses even outdoes you this time of year with his parting of the Red Sea. That act never gets old by the way Jesus because it is a classic. Any immortal being can raise themselves from the dead and move a boulder. Moses separates a body of water then closes it in on an incoming enemy army. That is pretty kick ass no matter how many times it’s repeated.
