Is your economic situation lacking humor? Are your finances no laughing matter? Have no fear because Angry Seafood is here to help with a financial tip for these tough times.
Financial Tip Number 142: Take a Penny But Don’t Leave a Penny
Socialism in America has it’s roots in that seemingly harmless ‘take a penny leave a penny‘ tray at the local convenience store. Since this system is a redistribution of wealth why not use it to your advantage?
Go around to every store that has a take a penny/leave a penny tray and exercise your right to the taking part. I’d recommend 10-15 cents per store. There are a million retail locations that have the damn things. Before you know it, you’ll be swimming in pennies. Better bring a wheelbarrow!
One thing to be careful of though is the StealthVue Penny Cam, created to thwart our democratic right to those free pennies.
[Humor-blogs.com won't help you save any money but they do have a ton of funny blogs.]
The weirdness and uncomfortable humor of the strangeness began with this 1970’s kids game:
Remember Gnip Gnop? If you do you are old ha ha ha! I’m kidding of course because I’m old too. Anyways, the other day at work we were talking about games we played as kids and Gnip Gnop came up. The next night I’m channel surfing and I settle in on the humor of American Dad on Adult Swim. It was the episode ‘1600 Candles‘ and listen to what was referenced in this short clip:
Weird huh? I was not finding humor in these coincidences, especially when they happen all the frigging time!
The strangeness would not end with Gnip Gnop however.
The other day in his acceptance speech John Nobody mentioned my post suggesting we use cardboard and duct tape for housing for the homeless.
Later on I was checking out the uncommon uses of my feed and found Dreamroll.com was picking it up in their humor category. I drilled back a bunch of pages and found this parody news post published on 10/02:
For the record that’s my bit, but this is not about proper credit due. It is about weirdness. Check this visitor’s path out hours after I found that fake news post:
Someone cue up the Twilight Zone music please.
[Humor-blogs.com is pretty weird but they also have funny blogs. Go there or be weird or to be wierd or not be weird or ahhh...aw screw it, just frigging click the link.]
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Watch out for some wet paint and contractors doing some duct work over in the Sports Humor category as well as a dead hooker in the Politics/Religion humor section. Isn’t that always the place you find that kind of stuff? More on that later.
And that picture above looks familiar for some reason…
Yeah so I’ve dipped into the deep end of the pool with a complete make-over to a grid/magazine-style theme as you can see. The kids tell me it’s like so last week to have a chronogical blog format. And don’t say Raven either. That’s like last century. Fer sure.
The theme is called Arthemia, created by Michael Jubel and it is pretty sweet. He did a hell of a job on the code. Very smooth.
Most of the kinks have been ironed out and we have departed on our maiden voyage so to speak.
[Humor-Blogs.com has lots of funny blogs that are not disasters waiting to happen. Go there to make sure there is not another humor blog Hindenburg.]
One of the creepiest things I have ever written about in this humor blog is the new Axe Dark Chocolate pitchman, Chocolate Man. He is not the first in the wave of uncomfortable spokespersons in advertising but Chocolate Man won’t be the last. You can be sure of that.
No dude it is creepy but besides that fact tying together food and sexy fragrances is, well weird. There was that perfume women wore in the 90’s called Vanilla Fields and it made them smell like cupcakes. I dated this one girl who wore it and all we did was go out to eat. Perfume/cologne should not make you hungry.
Next up on the list of creepy ad mascots is The King.
I think they should have someone playing him in every Burger King. His job is to walk around, sit down next to people eating and stare uncomfortably at them. What the hell, make a reality show out of it. There’s a lot of potential there. They could even make a special edition DVD with all the outtakes from people who don’t take kindly to The King creeping them out. They could call it: “When Fast Food Patrons Attack”
Then there is Smiling Bob from the Enzyte commercials.
Despite the creepy factor those ads were much less gross then the Viva Viagra commercials. A bunch of guys sitting around in a jam session singing about how they can’t wait to have sex with their wives when they get home almost makes me want to take a Crying Game shower.
The winner hands down though has to be the Six Flags guy.
How that one got the green light is amazing to me. I would have loved to be a fly on the wall for the pitch meeting…
Pitchman: “Okay, so we have this old guy with a funny-looking face wearing odd clothing dancing and asking kids to get on his bus so he can take them to our amusement park.”
Pitchman’s assistant: “Right, but it’s not Michael Jackson.”
Pitchman: “And we start the campaign off by advertising on milk cartons.”
Six Flags Executive: “Are you kidding?”
Pitchman: “No.”
Six Flags Executive: “I love it! When can we have the ads done?”
The Bloggers Speak interview segment usually scheduled for Monday was experiencing technical difficulties. Angry Seafood apologizes and blames it on global warming.
Coming up Tuesday is the second installment of ‘US Voter Jokes‘. This time around we get a sneak peak at one of the jokes the politicians were telling about us while they were busy bailing out their Wall Street friends last week.
Go back and check out this past weekend’s Musical Interlude for some amazing guitarists doing rock versions of ‘Canon in D’ as well as stand-up comic Rob Paravonian complaining about the subject.
Humor-Blogs.com has some creepy characters lurking in the corners but there are also a ton of funny blogs too.
First up on the Weekend Musical Interlude we have JerryC’s version of the immortal ‘Canon in D’ by Johann Pachelbel. You probably have seen it before:
Pretty rocking right? You haven’t seen anything yet. Ahead is Matt Rach’s version. Look out Joe Satriani, there’s a new, better version of you:
He is simply amazing and this is something he did a couple of years ago.
On a side note both guitarists use the same version of Canon in D so if you time it right you can get both Matt and Jerry playing at the same time. It is an amazingly insane piece of music when you combine the two and worth a few extra minutes to synch them.
Here is some of Matt Rach’s other work:
R2D2 (This one rocks and reminds me of the music in those skiing videos on ESPN.)
Crazy Bell (Another one that shows amazing creativity blending a few different styles)
Bringing us back to the humor theme that is this blog we have the very funny Rob Paravonian doing a great bit about Canon in D and how much he hates the song…
Sometimes you can just look at someone, like the over-tanned idiots above and know they are a total bag of douche. While some have this gift, not everyone is able to see the tell-tale signs. This list should help those of you who lack the clear insight needed to avoid bags of douche.
I would also like to point out that this list is not like the typical ‘top reasons or signs someone is a bag of douche‘. Having orange skin isn’t on here. Treating people like crap isn’t on here. Anyone can make a list with those qualities and besides, aren’t those simply inherent? It would be like making a list of who has seen Paris Hilton’s dirty spot.
The serious bags of douche exhibit these tell-tale signs:
1.They have an icon of a kid peeing on something in the back or side window.
2.They have purple lights under their car.
3.They wear official jerseys of their favorite sports team but are not actually on the team.
4.They wear Oakley sunglasses.
5.They are a contestant on MTV’s reality show ‘Next’.
6.They have incredibly hot and shallow girlfriends.
7.They have the speech capacity of Vin Diesel.
8.They can be described as ‘greasy’.
9.They are often photographed licking the side of a hot girl’s face.
What is your sign someone is a total bag of douche?
Humor-blogs.com has very funny blogs but not a lot of bags of douche, probably because they wouldn’t get the jokes.
I mentioned a few months back that this blog was going into the retail world to try and make this damn thing earn some money for me. Hell, even my old stuff from Associated Content is still sending residuals my way. In fact I got a couple bucks today. It’s a cup of coffee but it’s more then this blog is paying me.
No, I haven’t decided to create t-shirts or bumper stickers.
Angry Seafood has bought a small import/export firm in Bangladesh, A.S.S. Ltd., and is teaming up with DONCO, the retail arm of Don Lewis and It’s a Funny Thing blog, to bring you exclusive lines of great retail items including the Feel Better self-help products designed to improve self-esteem.
We feel this partnership will be able to provide quality to the retail industry, something that has been sorely lacking.
A.S.S. Ltd.- “Wait until you see what’s on the inside”
This work by Chris Cameron is licensed for non-commercial usage only. Any usage must also contain credit to the original work here as well as to the author.
Is your economic situation lacking humor? Are your finances no laughing matter? Have no fear because Angry Seafood is here to help with a financial tip for these tough times.
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