Welcome to another edition of Bloggers Speak where Angry Seafood interviews the authors of humor blogs. We are joined today by Johnny Virgil from Fifteen Minute Lunch.

Chris: Welcome to the feature Johhny. How are you doing?

Johnny Virgil: I’m good. But where the hell is everyone? My agent told me I’d be reading for the part of “interested onlooker.” I’ll work for scale. Who are you again?

C: Why is haiku dumb?

JV: I don’t think all of it’s dumb. Read some japanese death haiku sometime. Some of it can be very moving. Sorry, I know this is supposed to be funny.

C: Your thoughts on Cinco De Mayo.

JV: I haven’t thought about Cinco De Mayo in…well, never, actually. I know one thing about it, and that one thing is that I get to wear jeans to work on that day, so whatever the hell it is, I’m all for it.

C: Great taste or less filling?

JV: Jeez, where are you getting these questions from? 1993? I’d have to go with less filling, because Miller Light is basically club soda filtered through old college fraternity carpets. And anything that you *don’t* drink has to be less filling than something you do, right?

C: Who do you think is the ugliest US presidential candidate and why?

JV: Wow. That’s a tough one. I’d say it’s a toss up between McCain and Hillary. McCain is older, but Hillary clearly has the bigger penis. Truthfully, she freaks me out a little. Case in point:

C: What are monkey punchers and what bothers you most about them?

JV: It’s a term for idiots with computers. “Monkeypunchers” are the kind of people who are stupid enough to click on the dumb flash ads that are on every web page you see. You know, the ones where there are buttons for choices, but they don’t actually do anything but take you to the same lame web page, no matter which one you click on? These types of people have computers that are generally so full of spyware, adware and viruses, that even though the computer is brand new, it has all the speed of my grandfather in the bathroom after thanksgiving dinner.

C: What did you do with the riches from one of your posts going viral?

JV: I made about $200 – all from donations from other people who were forced to (or chose to)wear similar clothes in the 70′s. I spent it all on vintage clothes. When nobody is around I put them on and do The Shuffle in my living room.

C: Why would someone name their child Rainbow?

JV: I have no idea. I guessit beats naming your kid “Refracted Light.” I guess if maybe you were a huge Ritchie Blackmore fan. Or gay. Or a gay hippie. Or maybe a gay hippie Ritchie Blackmore fan.

C: Che Guevara, evil or misunderstood?

JV: I’m going to have to go with “misunderstood” based on this unreleased footage of Che and Fidel...

(*Editor’s Note: The embed code still isn’t working but hopefully the link above should send you to the funny video which is a great addition to the answer*)

C: Thanks a lot for taking the time to do this interview Johnny. Any parting thoughts?

JV: The guy who said “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” hasn’t been putting his bird in the right bushes. Let’s go with that.

Johnny’s question for the readers: Don’t you people have things to do? How many of you are reading this at work? And more importantly, Is your company hiring?
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