Welcome to another edition of Bloggers Speak and this week I interview…myself from this humor blog. Time for me to sit down with me. This feels weird already.

I picked some of the questions I asked in the past along with why the hell I want to know everyone’s favorite choice for front man for Van Halen

How’s it hanging Chris?

Pretty good but it depends. I’m trying to keep it on the other side to even out that bend I developed.

If you could create a television series what would it be?

“Schlepping in Space”

A series about a group of Jews traveling around the universe. They can make jokes like “this food replicator always makes the matzo ball soup salty.” or “That’s the last time we loan money to the alien planet Zuranus!“. Inside the spaceship all the furniture has plastic covers. Think of it more like Star Trek and less like the immortal ‘Jews in Space’ bit by Mel Brooks.

Van Halen Question- Sammy or Dave?

Dave of course. This question is a tribute to one of my favorite bosses ever, Bill Ford who asks that to everyone he meets for the first time.

If you could create your own court procedural drama what would it focus on?

I have this idea and it is nothing like Hill Street Blues or NYPD Blue. It’s fresh and innovative. It focuses on the professional lives of the cops and prosecutors who represent the public sector in the criminal justice system from arrest to trial. Then to make it even better we use high tech and forensics to unveil the circumstances behind mysterious deaths and other crimes.

I’m guessing you could also branch off other areas like maybe special victims unit or from the criminal’s viewpoint. You could also have different shows in different cities like Miami or Las Vegas.

What would be the funniest way to die?

You win the lottery but just as you arrive at the lottery headquarters a gust of wind blows the ticket out of your hand and into the street. You rush out to grab it not seeing the bus twenty feet away barreling at you at 25 MPH. You narrowly avoid the bus but a hippie grabbed the ticket and ran into the headquarters to cash it in. Failing to produce ID because hippies don’t have money or carry wallets, he had to go home to get his state-issued identification card.

Seizing the opportunity, you go to a costume shop and purchase a hippie costume. You sneak into Starbucks where the thief is busy writing a “Bush Sucks” blog entry. While he is distracted you grab the ticket and run out the door, the hippie giving chase.

Both of you arrive at lottery headquarters at the same time and an argument ensues. You finally win and get to claim your prize. As you step outside a crazed person with a knife sees you and yells “I hate hippies!”. He lunges at you and kills you.

After that the crazy person high-fives the hippie.

Thanks for taking the time to do this me. Any final thoughts?

Yeah visit Angry Seafood. Oh wait this is my blog.

Chris’ question for the readers:

Is the future just like the present only longer?
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