2008 Summer Movie Preview II: Revenge of the Whacky Characters

Welcome back to another installment of the 2008 Angry Seafood Summer Movie Preview. This month we have some interesting options for humor like ‘You Don’t Mess With The Zohan‘ and ‘The Love Guru‘ along with some questionable flicks like ‘Get Smart‘ and ‘Wanted‘.

This should be an interesting month.

I also apologize for missing ‘The Strangers‘ in May’s preview but did you know that there is an old joke with the same plotline?

“Why did you kill everyone in the house?”

“Cause they was home.”

There, I just exposed this film as being a rip-off of a classic dark joke. Now you don’t even have to see the movie. Actually, go see it because no matter how bad a flick is, going to the movie theater is still cheap entertainment. Speaking of which…

You Don’t Mess With The Zohan
June 6

Adam Sandler is a highly-skilled Mossad agent who fakes his own death so he can move to New York and become a hair stylist.

There is a fine line between funny and dumb. I know because I cross that line often. So going with the idea that it takes one to know one I think Sandler’s character will be a little too over-the-top. But it’s nice to have him not playing roles like he did in ‘Mr. Deeds’ or ‘Click‘.

I nominate this one for most-quoted film of the summer until ‘Tropic Thunder‘ comes out.

The Incredible Hulk
June 13

Scientist Bruce Banner desperately hunts for a cure to the gamma radiation that poisoned his cells and unleashes the unbridled force of rage within him: The Hulk.

Is it a sequel? No. The 2003 film is completely forgotten which is good because it sucked. Is the casting good? Yes and no. It stars Ed Norton but he doesn’t get to play a dark character which is what he is good at. He even wanted a darker film but Marvel said no. When Ed Norton is forced to do things his acting suffers. Don’t believe me? You must have missed ‘The Italian Job‘.

The Incredible Hulk looks like a typical fun summer roller coaster ride of a film no matter how motivated Ed is.

The Happening
June 13

A family is on the run from an inexplicable and unstoppable event that threatens not only humankind–but the most basic human instinct of them all: survival.

You have to wonder if M. Night Shamylan was under Disney’s influence too long. Same plot every film: main character has lost their way in life and finds purpose through the external pressure of some kind as the conflict. The protagonist is almost always in some state of limbo in life practicing some kind of isolationism.

But this one does look a little different and with the exception of ‘Unbreakable‘ I liked his other films. If anything there will be a lot of thinking after people see this one, a lot like the reaction to ‘The Village‘.

The Love Guru
June 20

His Holiness Pitka, an American raised by Indian gurus, is back in the States looking to make his mark in the self-help industry with his bizarre, nondenominational approach to enlightenment.

Mike Myers is back with a character he spent five years working on. The movie also stars Jessica Alba so there is always her to fall back on if Myers’ shtick doesn’t work. Who wouldn’t want to fall on her?

He’s funny enough to make this one work but you can’t help not see elements of his past characters in Pitka.

Get Smart
June 20

Maxwell Smart is on a mission to thwart the latest plot for world domination by the evil crime syndicate known as KAOS.

Maybe I am biased or perhaps I missed something by that much. I grew up on reruns of the television show version. (Whoa it was a tv show?) I also saw the first film, ‘The Nude Bomb‘. (There was a Get Smart movie before this one?) While I love Steve Carrell it just seems like a repackage of the old jokes. At least there’s an entire generation of people who haven’t heard them already.

Please don’t tell me Don Adams has a cameo.

Wanted
June 27

After Wesley Gibson’s estranged father is murdered, a mysterious and deadly woman recruits him into the Fraternity, a secret society that trains Wes to avenge his dad’s death by unlocking his dormant powers.

Why does this movie seem like a cheap copy of ‘The Matrix‘? First there was bullet-time, now there is bullet throwing. This film is so bad I had to make up the plot summary because the official one is two paragraphs long. That’s genius right there, make a movie that takes someone ten minutes to explain it to their social circle. Marketers refer to that as the Helen Keller method of word-of-mouth advertising.

Well, at least Angelina Jolie is leagues hotter then Carrie Moss which makes it more bearable to watch.

Morgan Freeman, by the way is really going for some crappy roles lately. ‘Evan Almighty’, ‘The Bucket List‘, ‘Gone Baby Gone’ and now the Morpheus knock-off. When will it end?

Don’t you dare say the next Batman movie either or you are so off my Christmas list.

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Don’t miss 2008 Summer Movie Preview III: The Rise of the Superheros out Friday, June 27 with a look at Hellboy II, a second Batman with a dead actor, Hancock and the rest of July’s films.

Humor-blogs.com loves movies, especially goat porn. Don’t believe me? Go there and prove me wrong.

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