Welcome to another edition of “Bloggers Speak” where Angry Seafood interviews the authors of humor blogs. We are joined today by Johnny Virgil from Fifteen Minute Lunch.
Chris: Welcome to the feature Johhny. How are you doing?
Johnny Virgil:I’m good. But where the hell is everyone? My agent told me I’d be reading for the part of “interested onlooker.” I’ll work for scale. Who are you again?
C: Why is haiku dumb?
JV:I don’t think all of it’s dumb. Read some japanese death haiku sometime. Some of it can be very moving. Sorry, I know this is supposed to be funny.
C: Your thoughts on Cinco De Mayo.
JV:I haven’t thought about Cinco De Mayo in…well, never, actually. I know one thing about it, and that one thing is that I get to wear jeans to work on that day, so whatever the hell it is, I’m all for it.
C: Great taste or less filling?
JV:Jeez, where are you getting these questions from? 1993? I’d have to go with less filling, because Miller Light is basically club soda filtered through old college fraternity carpets. And anything that you *don’t* drink has to be less filling than something you do, right?
C: Who do you think is the ugliest US presidential candidate and why?
JV: Wow. That’s a tough one. I’d say it’s a toss up between McCain and Hillary. McCain is older, but Hillary clearly has the bigger penis. Truthfully, she freaks me out a little. Case in point:
C: What are monkey punchers and what bothers you most about them?
JV: It’s a term for idiots with computers. “Monkeypunchers” are the kind of people who are stupid enough to click on the dumb flash ads that are on every web page you see. You know, the ones where there are buttons for choices, but they don’t actually do anything but take you to the same lame web page, no matter which one you click on? These types of people have computers that are generally so full of spyware, adware and viruses, that even though the computer is brand new, it has all the speed of my grandfather in the bathroom after thanksgiving dinner.
JV: I made about $200 - all from donations from other people who were forced to (or chose to)wear similar clothes in the 70’s. I spent it all on vintage clothes. When nobody is around I put them on and do The Shuffle in my living room.
C: Why would someone name their child Rainbow?
JV: I have no idea. I guessit beats naming your kid “Refracted Light.” I guess if maybe you were a huge Ritchie Blackmore fan. Or gay. Or a gay hippie. Or maybe a gay hippie Ritchie Blackmore fan.
C: Che Guevara, evil or misunderstood?
JV: I’m going to have to go with “misunderstood” based on this unreleased footage of Che and Fidel...
(*Editor’s Note: The embed code still isn’t working but hopefully the link above should send you to the funny video which is a great addition to the answer*)
C: Thanks a lot for taking the time to do this interview Johnny. Any parting thoughts?
JV: The guy who said “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” hasn’t been putting his bird in the right bushes. Let’s go with that.
Johnny’s question for the readers: Don’t you people have things to do? How many of you are reading this at work? And more importantly, Is your company hiring?
f you would like to be interviewed hit me up and we will make it happen. My only requirement is that you actually be funny and you have a blog. Boring interviews don’t make for good ones around here.
Humor-blogs.com is home to Fifteen Minute Lunch and other funny humor blogs. Visit there or die a horrible death.
Coming Wednesday: The ‘Bloggers Speak’ Interview
with Johnny Virgil from Fifteen Minute Lunch
There is still time to place your bets in the over/under on the number of fathers in the Texas Polygamist Cult. But make sure you act quickly, the DNA tests are due back soon.
Doing her best ‘Jodie-Foster-from-Taxi-Driver‘ impression for a Vanity Fair photo shoot, the fun ride down the road to debauchery begins with another celebrity peaking as a teen. At this point the only thing left she hasn’t done is porn.
Our little girl is growing up so fast.
This also exposes the funny laws we have. For example:
Vanity Fair soft porn picture of 15-year-old = Art.
Same picture on your hard drive = criminal indictment.
And what kind of sex talk about a celebrity minor and soft porn would be complete without the lawmakers themselves?
Florida’s politicians decide to bring up a bill Sunday to ban fake bull testicles from cars and trucks. I go into the hairy details over at Radioactive Liberty, but it seems we are a little obsessed over how well-hung our bumpers are.
So now there is testicle envy? Yes, and I cite this example:
Fake balls on politicians/lawmakers = Legal
Fake balls on cars = Illegal
It all makes sense now.
*Have you made your guess about the Polygamist Cult’s DNA test results yet? Make sure you get over to the DNA betting post and make your call in the comments section. More then or less then thirty fathers?*
Humor-blogs.com doesn’t show skin or testes but rather funny humor blogs.
Last year I got a lot of enjoyment making fun of the suckiness that was the 2007 Summer Movie Season and I continue that tradition for 2008 with the first half of the preview Friday, May 2nd. Looks like shooting fish in a barrel with a Hulk sequel and Iron Man. Maybe just maybe an M. Night Shyamalan film will not be about exclusion from society. But that would be like wishing Tarintino did one movie in a linear format.
More humor blogger interviews
Next up is Johnny Virgil from Fifteen Minute Lunch. His interview will be up sometime next week and promises to be funny. Maybe I’m putting too much pressure on him but his blog is hilarious so he does it to himself hehe. If you ever read a blog post about an old JC Penney catalog, that was his work.
That one is followed up by myself, yours truly being interviewed by Frogster, formerly of The Frog Bog Blog who is now a retired blogger. Like a Tupac CD, Frogster had some things done he never released and you get to read it exclusively here. Ok, maybe one thing.
If you would like to be interviewed hit me up and we will make it happen. My only requirement is that you actually be funny. Boring interviews don’t make for good ones around here.
The Rest of The Top Ten Funniest Television Shows
A little while back, I did a post about the top ten funniest shows but I only put in five choices because that is how I roll. Unlike Mel Brooks’ fake promise of a History of the World sequel, I complete the damn list. I also include your suggestions.
(The teaser for the sequel can be seen at about seven minutes into this end clip of the Mel Brooks classic.)
Democrat Dilemma: The Black Guy or the Woman?
My weekly Thursday post over at Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty is a doozey. It looks at the problem Democrats are having trying to choose between a black man and a white woman. Isn’t life grand?
Don’t forget to place your over/under bets!
The DNA results will be out for the members of the Texas Polygamist Cult soon so make sure you get over to the DNA betting post and make your call in the comments section. More then or less then thirty fathers?
Miley Cyrus finally turned the corner and 
