Angry Seafood

Nothing says humor like bad ideas for businesses, services, or products. Still people try, still they try…

1. Levert Reunion Tour

Unless you are having it in Heaven, this doesn’t look so promising. I’ll miss not hearing Casanova live though.

2. ACME Embalmer and Meat Emporium

Which service/product would you like first?

3. Naturally Organic Animal Cleaning Service

Just like a cat, the groomer licks the animal clean. Applicants must like the taste of pet hair.

4. Jodie Foster Phone Sex Line

Press one for ‘female gym teacher from high school’.

5. Trich Hair Care Products

I see sales being a little slow with this one.

6. Previously-Owned Beer

This might work great for used cars, but I’ll pay more for the new stuff thanks.

7. Shady Loans for People that can’t afford them

Whoops, looks like this one was taken already by Countrywide. Doesn’t look like they were on our side after all does it?

8. Mohammad the Prophet Dolls/Action Figures

Just a hunch.

9. Midget Hookers

The demand is small but at least you have a place to rest your beer on. Maybe this one isn’t that bad.

10. Number Ten is for you, the readers. What is your top-ten bad business idea?

(Picture courtesy of Gutenburg.)

Humor-Blogs.com is one of the few truly great business ideas.
Too bad it really is about funny blogs.

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This week’s Thursday guest post over at Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty is a hodge-podge, a mismash (or is it mismesh. Jeff help me out here!) of un-related news stories along with a harrowing and true mini-tale of helicopter crashes.

Of course it is about politics, except for the helicopter part. Enjoy.

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Well once again one of my favorite shows, Jericho gets the axe. Unlike Sliders back in 2000, Jericho will have an actual wrap-up ending tonight at 10pm on CBS. Sliders ended with a cliffhanger and the fans never forgave Sci-Fi Channel.

I have a feeling fans will feel the same way about CBS

Looking back at their actions, I think CBS had no intention of a third season. They didn’t support it, have no similar shows to cross-promote with it, and was in a horrible time slot. If anything CBS looks good because it put the pressure on the fandom to promote Jericho.

It also doesn’t help that Nielsen’s rating system sucks. It is archaic and severely under-reports viewership. What boggles my mind is that we have the ability to track everything people watch through the cable and satellite tv receiver boxes. But the networks do not want this because it will expose the house of cards television ratings are.

To be fair Jericho was a cerebral show but it also was about conspiracies. I figured the lack of trust people have in their government would have brought more fans to the show. But I think it was just too smart.

But in the end fans got played. I learned my lesson a year ago with Associated Content and having to self-promote content. CBS wanted the viewership to be the marketing department and that never works. Look, I have a degree in Marketing and I will be the first to say word-of-mouth advertising is over-rated. It is nice and all but in a competitive industry repetitive promotion is the only way to get noticed as well as stay in the front of people’s minds. You need advertising dollars and you need a lot of them.

So fellow Jericho fans, enjoy tonight and think good thoughts about the show. We got twenty-nine great episodes and a dynamic premise. We got the show renewed last year, something rare in the world of cancellation. And we got a show that I think had better acting and writing then we would have gotten from a lesser network like Sci-Fi or USA.

I also apologize for the lack of funny. Go re-read yesterday’s post for the chuckles.

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I think I am one of the few happy people on Mondays. Unlike most of you, I don’t work a normal 9-5 job. This weekend, some of you acted like the slutty girl above who hops in bed with any decent-looking guy who will show her a glimmer of attention. Some of you were doing the Easter thing instead of Dueling Bedsprings. I don’t even want to know what a few of you do on your weekends. Anything that involves a ball gag, a transexual Bavarian midget, and a donkey is TMI in my book.

My job is waiting tables and the weekends are my busy time. I serve you food and laugh at your corny jokes I’ve heard more times then “I’m a great tipper” while all of you get to relax for a few days.

Sure waiting on people it is a pain in the ass sometimes and most of you don’t even realize you have some level of social anxiety. An adult with nervous laughter after ordering a beverage is a sure sign of it. Many of you also don’t like to make eye contact which is odd.

Just something I noticed about my fellow humans. If none of you want to deal with the problems it really doesn’t affect me. Hell, don’t do anything about it so I can go back in the kitchen and make fun of you.

Me: “The guy at table 32 ordered a Coke and twitched twice.”
Co-worker One: “Classic case of childhood abandonment. ”
Co-worker Two: “I don’t know Bill. Freud would look at it more like something to do with the Ego stage of life.”
Co-worker Three: “Is anyone going to help me get ice or run food? Holy crap you guys suck!”

And so it goes in my line of work. Everyone reads too much into things until someone flips out because we are all standing around talking instead of doing our job. It’s almost like a combination between a Three’s Company episode and the prom scene in Carrie, just without all the blood, fire, and death and a lot more profanity.

I don’t even know if that made any sense. But I do know is while the rest of you are now working and wondering where the weekend went, I get to go anywhere I want crowd-free because my days off are during the week .

Neener neener neener. It is my time to relax. Oh, and get me a soda and some buffalo wings. I’m a great tipper, honest.

I don’t know if Humor-Blogs.com has a job but it works
great for finding funny humor blogs! Waka waka

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