Angry Seafood

Concept by Chris Cameron. Artwork by www.toondoo.com.

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After a week of Congressional busy-bodying into baseball and football, it was refreshing to find out they replayed the Super Bowl and the Patriots won!

That was until I realized it actually was a gift to the citizens of Nicaragua by a charity.

Nothing is more uplifting to the downtrodden then t-shirts of losing teams. I bet the same people behind this stupid idea are the ones who think there shouldn’t be scorekeeping in Little League.

And how often is this done anyways? Are there millions of people with almost-championship apparel? If I ran one of these countries, I’d convince the population that the teams really did win. Imagine the fun the tourists will have trying to figure out what the fuck is going on.

Since the third world is allowed to misremember the outcomes of sporting events can we do the same with members of Congress grilling athletes? Or should I say brown-nosing.

The amount of ass-kissing in Roger Clemens’ direction had me wondering if maybe Winstrol wasn’t the cause of Roger’s butt abscesses. The winner of the political grandstand award of the week however goes to Arlen Specter who met with Roger Goodell this week to discuss Spygate.

Of course these are very important issues which demand our leaders’ attention. We can see it causing problems in our lives. I ran into an old friend recently who is a teacher. She told me the children have a new game where they run around the playground trying to stick each other in the buttocks with dirty needles used by homeless people.

The kids call it The Rocket Game. See what I mean?

Thankfully, it turns out there are some things in sports we might actually want to remember this week.

Curly from the Harlem Globetrotters got his number retired at Madison Square Garden and that brings up the obvious question: Would they beat an NBA team?

I don’t know. They could probably beat Memphis but not Boston. Maybe Cleveland. Something like that might be a good idea for the NBA All-Star festivities this weekend.

So how about the Globetrotters versus the NBA’s best players instead? Have that be the All-Star game.

Nevermind. Stupid idea. It would be over at half-time.

Just misremember that last one.

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Welcome to another edition of “Bloggers Speak” where Angry Seafood interviews the authors of the sites on Humor-Blogs.com as well as others with funny blogs.

We are joined today by Humor-Blogs.com member The Ominous Comma and it’s founder Brent.

Chris: Welcome to the feature Brent. How are you doing?

Brent: Have we started yet? I know I only get eight questions and I don’t want to waste this opportunity by picking a lame one.

C: Your thoughts on Presidents’ Day.

B: As far as I can tell, only the four living ex-presidents actually get this day off. Everyone else has to work. Much like the perversely named Veterans Day, where actual veterans like myself have to prop up the economy with gainful employment so that school children can celebrate this meaningful event with patriotic rounds of all-day video games.

C: What’s creepier-Huckabee’s evil eyes that can’t look at you or Ron Paul’s fanbase?

B: I cannot overstate the importance of having a solid fan base. If you attempt to blow as much hot air as these politicians do without a sufficient anchoring mass, you will end up on your backside addressing “My fellow chandeliers.” In addition, let me say that….I’m sorry, what was the question?

C: Great taste or less filling?

B: Both. People with great taste and esthetic refinement tend to frequent blogs with high originality, low filler content, and effective lolcat filtering. Which of course explains the rampant popularity of both your blog and mine. At least in Lithuania

C: What does Doctor Toboggans like to do for fun?

B: He enjoys having his ego stroked. Of course most men do. I often enjoy a good identity rubdown myself, but Doctor Toboggans really likes it. So much so that he hired his own cerebral masseuse, a specialist in Deep Issue Manipulation, to thoroughly work over his neuroses.

C: What is the true meaning of college?

B: It is a little known fact that the word college is actually a French derivative of the Old Welsh word cloggage, which reflects the theory that intelligence continually seeps from the human brain unless the neural pathways can be plugged with random and mostly useless information. This method of preventing intelligence leakage is precisely why so many covert government agents are intentionally addicted to Trivial Pursuit by their handlers. That and the generous Milton Bradley stock options.

C: What was the worst post you ever wrote?

B: Probably this one. Fortunately for me, it won’t be appearing on my blog.

C: If 2 vectors have the same amplitude, are the ordered pairs representing them necessarily identical?

B: Offer not valid in all quantum states. Prices and participation may vary inversely as a function of Brownian motion.

C: How is furniture dangerous?

B: Usually as it answers the call of gravity from the lofty vantage point of a third story window. Of course there is also DangerCouch, which is hazardous in its own right, although mostly due to plaid burn-in of the retinal nerves.

For the majority of western civilization who has managed to live in blissful ignorance so far, DangerCouch is a band, a blog, a video web-series, and collectable movie/concert DVD. I am one of the writers, one of the actors, and one of the musicians. I am also one of the roadies, one of the grips, and do all my own stunts, most often in the form of disturbing food consumption. But enough about me, what do you think of my affordable DVD?

C: Thanks a lot for taking the time to do this interview Brent. Any parting thoughts?

B: After years of feathering my thoughts down the middle, I have recently started parting them on the right. Just another sign of old age I guess.

Brent’s question to the readers: I would love to know what your readers think will be the future of blogs and blogging? Unlike magazines, TV, and movies, the blog is still a mostly undefined media, capable of incredible flexibility. Where do you think it will go? Where would you like to see it go? And when do you think I might limit myself to a single question?

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Indy Teaser Trailer Just Released

Finally the Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull trailer came out. A ‘teaser’ version just three months before the film debuts? C’mon Paramount you can do better then that. I guess the full trailer will be out May 22.

It looks pretty good but you can already tell there will be lots of jokes about how old Indy is. And if they were going to bring back Karen Allen, why not John Rhys-Davies?

“I was hoping that since Al Gore won his precious Nobel Prize, and is now the King of the Environment the global warming talk would have settled down. Not so fast, because the moonbats are at it again…”

Read all about the latest exploits and shenanigans of the Gorebull Warming backers in my Thursday guest post at Radioactive Liberty.

So what famous hottie had you gluing macaroni onto construction paper in the hopes it would somehow get their attention?

Funny how if you try that at age six it is cute. Do it when you are 35 and it precedes a restraining order.

Go talk about your crush

Humor-blogs.com has no feelings on any of these subjects. They like toe cheese.

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