Leaked SonyBMG Document Reveals Band Identity Sweatshop
Written by Chris C on January 16th, 2008
Hollywood, Ca- The music industry was rocked this week when a leaked memo from SonyBMG Music revealed something unexpected: a sweatshop of bloggers forced to make thousands of band names, CD covers, and even song titles for pennies a day.
The memo is a step-by-step instruction guide for the blogger to create musical identities, which would then be submitted to SonyBMG, who in turn would build the identities into million dollar products. For every ten the blogger submitted, the music company would debit their PayPal account three cents.
From the leaked document:
“You are in a band. Your band is about to release their first CD. Now, follow these directions to build it.
1. Go to Wikipedia and hit the random page function; this is the name of your band.
2. Similarly, go to QuotationsPage.com and take the last four words of the very last quote; this will be you album title.
3. Finally, go to this link at Flickr and use the third image; this is your album cover.”
“We always knew they were making up bands in the music industry, but we never thought it went this deep.” Federal constable John Henry said. “We will get to the bottom of this with a full investigation.”
Sources confirm that some blogs have already been implicated including:
as well as this blog, Angry Seafood with ‘Cease to Be’ by the soon-to-be factual Glam-band-meets-Punk-with-a-dash-of-thrash-metal sensation Freightliner.
“They told me I would make an extra five cents if I created song titles too.” a shocked Chris Cameron said, sitting at his computer. “Hey, I’m a blogger. I just thought it was like Pay-Per-Post or Associated Content. I never dreamed anyone would use people to profit off their free labor.”
SonyBMG could not be reached for comment.
humor-blogs.com is not under any federal investigation for music identity sweatshops. But they might be for humor. Better go there and find out.
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16
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I can’t keep up with all the great new music!
We should all form a conglomerate and become the next stab-our-customers-in-the-back record label.
(Freightliner is a GREAT band name)
16
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Nicely done, Chris. See, that’s why I like your blog. You are able to take a step back and put together the big picture. Darn! Taken in by the music industry again.
I don’t know, maybe we should get together like Howard says and break the mold. We can stab our customers in the front!
16
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…the secret is out - am I going to get sued?
16
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This is so perfect… that’s pretty much EVERY band name. I could play this game forever!
17
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All your CD and band creations are belong to us…
17
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1) Start a blog
2) ?????
3) Profit!