Have a fun and safe Christmas all you Gentile readers. Hopefully Santa doesn’t arrive at your house half in the bag like the guy above.
Need a last-minute present? Why not the give of a vote for or against Huey Lewis this holiday season? Much better idea then that crappy tie you bought your uncle last year.
Of course what holiday would be complete without the most rocking-est ever Christmas song. Can I have the woman in the video as my present this year? Grrrr Baby.
The banjos are warming up. The gauntlet has been bought on E-Bay by Renal Failure and thrown down. Days of bitter verbal sparring has boiled over into all-out blogging Armageddon.
In this corner we have Diesel and his claim that Huey Lewis should be back on the radio after years of being relegated to stations with names like ‘Bill’ or ‘Frank’. Nothing like having the songs you wrote and sang being sandwiched between ‘In Da Club’ by 50-Cent and ‘Last Train to Clarksville’ by the Monkees.
To be fair Huey Lewis is loved mostly by people who grew up in the 1980’s with parachute pants, muscle shirts, and bandanas. Apparently that was Diesel’s wardrobe in high school. Still, the children of the 80’s continue to show up to Huey concerts so there could be some merit to his side of the argument. Too bad they also arrive wearing denim jackets and leg-warmers.
Leading the Anti-Huey side is elasticwaistbandlady aka ‘The Smiling Infidel’. She holds to the ideal that Huey’s talent level is so low he shouldn’t even be on a reality television show.
While researching her side of the argument, there was this repetitive music playing in the background on her blog. It was some crappy song with twelve original lines by Shane Nicholson.
While the Smiling Infidel may not be qualified to criticize music taste when a Wham Christmas song plays in the sidebar, she does make a valid point that people need to let go of music from the past.
The stakes are high in this Huey vs Shane battle for musical mediocrity. If Huey and Diesel come out victorious, and I quote:
“If the Power of Love conquers all, the Erratic Infidel must do a post unreservedly lauding the genius of Huey Lewis. She must also proudly display my “Huey Lewis needs your help” banner on her site for all of 2008.”
If elasticwaistbandlady and the Anti-Huey forces win the day, this is what will happen:
“In the unlikely event that the Heart of Rock & Roll stops beating, I (Diesel) must post a retraction of my Huey accolades and then never mention Huey on this blog again.”
You’ve heard the arguments for both sides. You know what is at stake. The only thing left to do is vote. Wham Christmas songs and Shane ‘you learn my songs like multiplication tables’ Nicholson or doo-wop until you vomit.
The choice is simple.
The poll ends at midnight Pacific Standard Time, Monday December 31st.
*Polling has now closed*
humor-blogs.com is Huey and Anti-Huey. Go there now to read funny things not about Huey Lewis.
It is Thursday and that means it is time for my weekly guest post at Radioactive Liberty.
I’ve got a live one this week examining why the jolly St. Nick has it in for the Jewish people. Why don’t they get Christmas presents? The answers may surprise you.
Coming Friday: ‘Christmas After Ground Zero’-a short story about an unforseen interruption in a newly-created post-apocalyptic community’s Christmas celebration.
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Chris: Welcome to the feature Theresa. How are you doing?
Theresa: Well, it’s not raining and I have toilet paper, so I can’t complain.
C: What European country is the weirdest and why?
T:I would have to say Belgium. I mean, it’s a place that can’t figure out if it’s French or Dutch, and its best known symbol is a statue of a little boy peeing. How weird is that? Besides those chocolate boobies they sell everywhere kind of ick me out. On the other hand, it is the country that gave us Audrey Hepburn, so it can’t be all that bad.
C: Great taste or less filling?
T:Great taste, without a doubt. After all, I live in Spain. Can you imagine what diet Sangria would be like?
C: How can I tell if my rat is pregnant?
T:What, isn’t there a Rat Predictor? Of course getting a rat to pee on a stick might be kind of hard, so I guess you’re better off just waiting. After a while the question just resolves itself.
C: Do you ever wonder if you hate Paris Hilton, or if it’s just the jealousy taking over?
T:No, hate and jealousy are not quite the words I’d use to describe my feelings about Paris. Anyone who runs around without underwear to get people’s attention just deserves pity (and very cold privates).Besides, how could I be jealous of somebody who’s named after a hotel in France? No, I don’t think so. I can just imagine the conversations of the guys she goes out with:
“Dude, I just spent a night in the Paris Hilton!”
“Whoa, so what was that like?”
“Well, I was kind of disappointed.I mean, it’s supposed to be an exclusive thing, but these days almost anyone can get in.”
And when reading things like ‘Katie Holmes and Posh do Paris’ you can never quite be sure if they’re talking about a trip to the capital city of France, or another of Paris’ lesbian exploits.It’s pathetic really.
T:Well, they’re stupid, loud and environmentally irresponsible.Actually, they’re a lot like many politicians…in other words, they blow.
C: Which are worse, Gypsies or the French?
T:What, do you mean in bed? Sorry, but I don’t have any personal experience to share, but I could set you up on a couple of dates if you want to find out for yourself.
C: If someone came up to you, said “gobble gobble” then walked off, what would you do?
T:I’d say, “Off with its head! That’s our Christmas dinner, don’t let it get away!” Nah, just kidding, we don’t eat people over here anymore….I think that went out of style with the Inquisition.
C: What does Spain smell like?
T:Well, now that Posh Spice has left it smells ever so much better.
C: Thanks a lot for taking the time to do this interview Theresa. Any parting thoughts?
T:Thanks for inviting me over Chris. I’m honored to find myself in the company of so many talented bloggers. Oh, and one more thing. Is the seafood angry because you’re about to eat it? If so, I’m really glad I’m not a lobster.
Theresa’s question for the readers:If God is omnipotent, then why didn’t he make the Universe in one day and rest the other six?
