Dueling Blogs Lead to Huey-pocalypse
Written by Chris C on December 21st, 2007
The banjos are warming up. The gauntlet has been bought on E-Bay by Renal Failure and thrown down. Days of bitter verbal sparring has boiled over into all-out blogging Armageddon.
The Huey-pocalypse has finally happened.
In this corner we have Diesel and his claim that Huey Lewis should be back on the radio after years of being relegated to stations with names like ‘Bill’ or ‘Frank’. Nothing like having the songs you wrote and sang being sandwiched between ‘In Da Club’ by 50-Cent and ‘Last Train to Clarksville’ by the Monkees.
To be fair Huey Lewis is loved mostly by people who grew up in the 1980’s with parachute pants, muscle shirts, and bandanas. Apparently that was Diesel’s wardrobe in high school. Still, the children of the 80’s continue to show up to Huey concerts so there could be some merit to his side of the argument. Too bad they also arrive wearing denim jackets and leg-warmers.
Leading the Anti-Huey side is elasticwaistbandlady aka ‘The Smiling Infidel’. She holds to the ideal that Huey’s talent level is so low he shouldn’t even be on a reality television show.
While researching her side of the argument, there was this repetitive music playing in the background on her blog. It was some crappy song with twelve original lines by Shane Nicholson.
While the Smiling Infidel may not be qualified to criticize music taste when a Wham Christmas song plays in the sidebar, she does make a valid point that people need to let go of music from the past.
The stakes are high in this Huey vs Shane battle for musical mediocrity. If Huey and Diesel come out victorious, and I quote:
“If the Power of Love conquers all, the Erratic Infidel must do a post unreservedly lauding the genius of Huey Lewis. She must also proudly display my “Huey Lewis needs your help” banner on her site for all of 2008.”
If elasticwaistbandlady and the Anti-Huey forces win the day, this is what will happen:
“In the unlikely event that the Heart of Rock & Roll stops beating, I (Diesel) must post a retraction of my Huey accolades and then never mention Huey on this blog again.”
You’ve heard the arguments for both sides. You know what is at stake. The only thing left to do is vote. Wham Christmas songs and Shane ‘you learn my songs like multiplication tables’ Nicholson or doo-wop until you vomit.
The choice is simple.
The poll ends at midnight Pacific Standard Time, Monday December 31st.
*Polling has now closed*
humor-blogs.com is Huey and Anti-Huey. Go there now to read funny things not about Huey Lewis.
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21
AM
HAHAHAHAHA! Very funny stuff angry lobster man. That was my wardrobe in high school too actually. Along with a Madonna “Boy Toy” t-shirt, hot pink and black leopard print spandex pants (yeah see I liked shocking people back then too), a leather mini-skirt and converse high-tops. I still wear my high-tops and my denim jacket. You would have to kill me to get me to stop wearing them!
But Umm, you aren’t dissing the Monkees are you Chris? The Monkees are Gods.
:-)
21
PM
So far, Huey is kicking ASS. Let’s not get overconfident though. Huey-haters tend to be procrastinators (not to mention pedophiles), so there might be a big anti-Huey surge at the end of the year. Stay vigilant!
21
PM
Pfft. Huey Lewis suck canned corn! I just have to ask you Huey-bots, why do you hate America? Tell me that. Do you hug terrorists every chance you get? Do you psychopaths get off on committing genocide, because that’s what you’re doing. You’re killing an entire generation of true patriotic Americans by supporting that scum.
I have my principles, and I am standing by them.
You are either with us, or against us.
21
PM
Sounds like Fiar wants to round up the News into concentration camps.
Huey will remember who stood with him and who stood against him. It’s all going in Huey Lewis’s List, directed by Steven Spielberg.
21
PM
I was thinking that gulags doing hard labor would be more appropriate.
21
PM
Well, in my defense Wham! was up there in honor of Super Gay Sunday and to placate fans of my long dormant regular feature called “Gay Tuesdays On Wednesday.” A Little Sample Of Teh Gay To Brighten Your Day!
21
PM
As I can seee…. I can see
Sheeet, that Huey Lewis ‘Stuck On You’ stuff has infected my soul.
Anyway, as I can see, people aren’t voting out of their supreme love of all things Huey–they’re doing it out of loyalty to Diesel.
21
PM
Huey loves fruitcake.
21
PM
@Polli: I believe I have ALREADY dissed The Monkees.
@Diesel: To be clear I remain like Switzerland on this issue. I feel there is enough material to make fun of both sides of the argument hehe.
@Fiar: One of Bin Laden’s favorite musicians is Celine Dion. I don’t recall any bans of her music. If people are gonna talk the ‘musician is a terrorist’ talk they need to walk the walk. Nice gulag reference hehe.
@EWBL: So if people are voting pro-Huey out of loyalty to Diesel, are anti-Huey voters doing so out of loyalty to you? Are you suggesting this is not really about Huey Lewis but the personal vendetta between both of you.
On a side note, the other half of Wham, Andrew Ridgley isn’t gay.
@Frogster: You could argue that Huey IS fruitcake depending on your point of view. :)
24
PM
People, please!
Can we not come together under the twin umbrellas of love and drunken-fondling for this festive period?
Can we not put aside our differences for Christmas? For the little Baby Jesus?
For little baby Huey?
24
PM
It’s probably just as well that I no longer have time to post a retelling of the Christmas story centered on the birth of Huey Lewis.