Thank God for Diesel wanting to take up a cause celebre this week because I am so out of ideas lately it isn’t funny. It is so bad I might even scour the streets of Haverhill, Massachusetts looking for King Alfred. I did a recipe yesterday. A recipe! Talk about walking on a thin line. I am just not angry all the time.
Let me be serious for a moment about why we are here-Huey Lewis, and the news is not good. Last time we saw him it was a pitiful turn as a Karaoke star with Gwyneth Paltrow in some movie that isn’t even worth the time to look up on IMDB. The power of love only goes so far.
It gets worse folks. He recently teamed up with another has-been celebrity Garth Brooks to record a country duet version of ‘Working for a Living’. I know at this point and time Huey it is a matter of taking what they are giving but come on. Country music?
No Huey no!
If this is it please let me know. I wanna know. First Bon Jovi defects and now you too Huey? I know country is easier to play and its range is severely limited to a vocabulary of twelve words including: ‘yeehah’, ‘hell yah’, ‘redneck’, ‘gee my sister IS hot now that I think about it’, ‘you sure do got a perty mouth’…where was I, oh yes, Garth Brooks.
What the hell was he thinking? Wasn’t there anyone who told Garth this alter-ego idea was dumb? Huey come on here buddy, you teamed up with Chris Gaines. Have you heard any of that crap? It makes ‘Hip to Be Square’ sound as cool as ‘Stairway to Heaven’. Hell with the laughter, does anyone remember good music?
I sure do and it is the Huey Lewis of old. His classic songs of love lost, fun times buried on the beach up to our necks, and the quest for perfect drugs need to be played again. Some music today is good and while good is good, most times bad is bad.
Come back to rock Huey, we promise we will buy your albums. We have to because they aren’t made in CD format. We couldn’t see the forest for the trees. We should have stuck with you all along. You finally are making us believe it too.
Of course there is such a thing as taking love too far…(R-rated clip ahead folks)
This is a great dessert for your Thanksgiving feast this week. This was always a favorite of mine growing up and this year maybe it will be a hit for you and yours.
It is like a melted Oreo extravaganza with a side effect that is well, odd shall we say. This dessert will make your poop dark.
I know it sounds gross but I think you will appreciate the heads up. Now that your appetite is completely destroyed, here is the recipe:
2 box Nabisco Famous Chocolate Wafers
2 pint whipping cream
2 teaspoon vanilla extract
one plate
~Mix up the whipped cream, as per carton instructions, and add vanilla
~Spread whipped cream on a cookie, then add another cookie, making it like an Oreo. Don’t squeeze them together, stack them loosely.
~Place it on its side on the plate and add more cookies and whip cream, building a row of cookies.
~Create a second row of cookies next to the first.
~Once you have used all the cookies, cover the whole thing with whipped cream making sure to completely cover all of them.
~Let sit covered in the fridge for 48 hours
(When covering something like this, use toothpicks to keep the plastic from sticking to the cream.)
You can use Kool Whip or a whipped cream that is pre-made but the taste is not as good. Trust me, I tried. You can also vary the way you stack the cookies. You can go with two rows like I do, or maybe stack them into bunches of smaller rows going in different directions.
Of course as fate would be so cruel, a few years ago I found out that a great family recipe was actually the same one on the bottom of the cookie packaging, as well as online. One of my childhood fantasies was shattered that day. But hey, if Jerry Seinfeld’s wife can rip off someone’s cookbook and make a ton of money, why can’t my family incorporate a common recipe for holiday cheer?
Besides, they use less cookies then I do. Then again, maybe that is how to counter the side effect.
Enjoy the dessert everyone and have a safe and happy Thanksgiving.
To the woman to our left I would suggest a secretary or at least learn shorthand.
Is there is a homestyle remedy for smelly and sweaty feet?
Yes, it is called soap and water. You can do it in your own bathroom and choose any method you like. Now you have homestyle.
Please explain?
You have low self-esteem as well as a lack of self-confidence if you have to ask total strangers advice. Of course their answers are relevant because they know all about you and what is good for you. Grow a pair and think for yourself. Have I explained enough for you?
If you had nine lives, how would you waste the first eight lives?
I would find eight people who are rich and love to gamble. I would bet each of them $10,000 that I could get hit by a truck moving at 65 mph and live to tell about it. I would also take out six-figure life insurance policies on myself eight times while also creating additional second identities to be the benefactors.
Duh.
How do I host a murder mystery party?
Well that depends on how successful you want it to be. Sure, you could hire actors and make the whole thing up, or take it to the next level and host an actual murder where the guests have to figure out a real crime. People love CSI so doing this will guarantee a hit murder mystery party. Just make sure the victim is someone you can’t stand.
My girlfriend dumped me for someone she met on a cruise?
Repeat after me: Never ever ever ever let your girlfriend go on a cruise or a vacation to somewhere warm and partyish without you. She will cheat on you.
Women, same answer for you. Don’t let your man do this either.
So i HaVe a Bf, ive kNowN hIm FoR like 2 yrs.We’VE beEn 2GeThER fOr 1 MoNtH, im 17, should I tElL my PaReNts?
Holy shit, forget for a moment about the relationship. When are you going to tell your parents you have repeated the fifth grade seven times? I really hope your keyboard is fubared because otherwise my tax dollars will be supporting you in the future.
I predict this question from you in the near future: So mY Bf kNocKeD mE uP, should I tElL my PaReNts?
Coming Tuesday: Log Cake-My Holiday Dessert Recipe (seriously, a real dessert recipe. Very tasty with an odd side effect.)
humor-blogs.com does not give out advice but instead points to funny blogs.
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It is another weekend and that means it is time for some link goodness.
~Howard from Web Pen Blog shows off his monkey. Actually it is the new logo of his improv comedy troupe Monkey’s Uncle.
~Adam B from Comics Make No Sense has some great gift ideas for the holidays. I just wish he wouldn’t have such an obsession with Green Arrow, the lamest comic book superhero ever.
~Remulak from MoxArgon Group lays out how life will be for us humans under his impending rule. In an odd way I would rather have him running the show.
~Allen from It Came from Allen’s Brain has some thoughts on the upcoming holiday season. Oh, wait it started a few months ago. Der!
~Skot from Izzle Pfaff has an entertaining story about well, roomies, college, girlfriends, guns and a big penis. It is funny how many people knew a ‘Pod’.
~Finally, Jean-Luc from Captain Picard’s Journal tells about the most-feared enemy to humanity yet: political correctness. Oh noes!
These links are not endorsed or provided by Humor-Blogs. They did supply the donuts though.
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This is a great dessert for your Thanksgiving feast this week. This was always a favorite of mine growing up and this year maybe it will be a hit for you and yours.
It is time once again for my monthly advice column based on actual questions from the center of low self-esteem: 
