Angry Seafood

There are two things about this ‘holiday’ I just don’t get.

Why do towns insist on having Trick or Treat on other nights?

Some councilman or woman thinks an advertised event on a different night will deter vandals. Yah, all these people with eggs and toilet paper show up on the 31st wondering where the hell everyone is.

Do they have to show every horror movie ever made this week?

There are only so many Jason or zombie films I can handle in three days. On a side note I think the people that play zombies in movies are better actors then the Rock.

Artwork by Toondoo. Concept and Dialogue by Chris Cameron.

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Since Al Gore won the Nobel Peace prize I guess Global Warming has to be real. Either that or the review board hates the Jews. A woman who saved 2,500 real actual people from the Holocaust loses out to the potential to save possible lives in the future.

But what if these future people suck to live with? What if they are really stupid? Great work Al, you just made the planet much more annoying.

I am sorry, I meant to say that Al Gore is someone we should be listening to. Our children’s financial future is at stake. Did I say financial? My bad, I am so silly. I meant environmental future.

This will take some time to get used to being on the ‘pro’ side of the ‘warming is bad’ debate. Bear with me.

So how do we take advantage of, I mean help the planet get better?

Really, I mean it.

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Congratulations Boston Red Sox. Awesome awesome win. Now it is time to make good on my word.

When the 2007 baseball season began I vowed that if my beloved team, the Boston Red Sox won the championship this year I would throw my allegiance to a city that hasn’t won a World Series.

It has to be the National League though because I don’t want to have to root against Boston in the regular season. But the real issue is my credentials.

-As a Red Sox fan I am used to heartbreak. It began innocently enough with the 1986 Super Bowl, Patriots vs the Bears. Talk about an early lesson in being conditioned to lose. That of course was followed by the infamous 1986 World Series. I blame Calvin Schiraldi and manager John McNamara for the loss. Buckner had no business being on the field that late in the game. Grrrr.

I can deal with watching my teams lose big games.

-As a Celtics fan I am used to not making the playoffs every season. Thankfully, you can win a championship with just one superstar in the NBA. Or almost win. Just ask Cleveland.

I can deal with rebuilding.

-As a Patriots fan I have learned to hope the team wins. Until the last decade the customary thinking of Boston sports fans was to hope for wins but expect to lose in the end. Three championships in this decade changed all that and the confidence bled into Red Sox Nation.

I can hope for the best without expecting the worst.

So beginning in 2008 I will be a fan of the Milwaukee Brewers. They have a pretty good club, and the team plays in a city that is known for beer.

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Professor Minerva McGonagall had the ability to turn into an animal and spent much of the first book/movie as a cat. Let’s see here. We have beastiality, being a furry, and a pet of which the slang term means vagina. I also smell Lesbianism. Well not literally.

If I had known all this was going on, I would have started reading the books much sooner.

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