Drying Off After a Shower

Original Humor by Chris Cameron

20 Aug

Drying Off After a Shower

Posted on 2007 under Miscellany of Humor |

We all wonder about things. Ok, perhaps I do more then most people, but sometimes simple tasks and routines beg for answers or twists. Of course, many will not actually seek them out. But someone must if we are ever going to find out the pertinent information.

So the other day, as I finished taking a shower, I asked myself: “I wonder how long it would take to dry if I didn’t have a towel?” I am not talking about using an alternate, like paper towels or a face cloth. I mean just standing there and letting the amazing laws of physics work their magic.

Sounds boring right? Yes, actually it was, very boring indeed. But someone had to be the guinea pig.

I began the task by of course showering, but before that I brought in some reading material so I could keep occupied. There was no way I was just going to stand there and let my mind wander. It’s dangerous to do that because I just don’t know where it ends up.

My brain is a lot like the drunken friend you had in college that always ended up in the strangest of places on a nightly basis. One morning he is waking up in the monkey cage at the zoo, another night he’s passing out on the State House lawn. With a stripper.

So the shower ended and my experiment was underway. How long would this take? Would it be so boring I say screw it all and use a towel?

I begin dripping my way to answers. As the whole thing started I had this nagging feeling in my mind that I was forgetting something. You know the kind, the ‘left the iron on’ one.

Still I pressed on. Whenever you take these kinds of challenges, there are sure to be pitfalls along the way.

I was still half-soaked by the time I had run out of reading material and my mind had already visited a Bangladesh cathouse that was also a petting zoo and tannery. I knew right then and there I was starving. This is what I must have forgotten to do.

There was an odd question in my mind though as the fifth hour dragged on. I kept hearing my cell phone go off for what seemed like a million times. Who the hell keeps trying to call me?

Finally, after much time had passed the last drop of water evaporated and I was completely dry. At that point I was able to investigate why my phone was going crazy, I forgot to go to work! My experiment made for an interesting excuse but not very credible. Still, the feeling persisted that I missed a crucial detail.

The experiment was now complete and finally I was able to come to you now and report to you just how long it takes to drip-dry after a shower, sans towels.

And that is when it hit me what I missed. I forgot to set a timer or even look at a clock before I started.

(Reprinted from the former blog)