The Solution for Homelessness

Homelessness is a growing problem and nobody seems to want to do anything about it. I am not one of these people, I care. So I devised what I feel is a humane and fair way to solve the issue, while at the same time providing housing and the comfortable lifestyle homeless people are used to. It is a win-win for everyone.

Did I mention the costs are relatively low?
I introduce to you my state of the art concept: Hobo Haven.

When a homeless person first arrives at the island they are given a plethora of cardboard to create their very own modular home. They get the choice of any free plot of land on the isle and are free to construct their dwelling using any means they like. Generally, the inhabitants tend to group together, creating neighborhood or cliques as seen in the photo below.

There are no zoning laws in Hobo Haven however, so the homeless are free to design their dream property any way they choose. If they want to use duct tape to hold their modular home together they are free to do so. Building a ten story cardboard monstrosity is not a problem. The residents here will not petition some neighborhood nanny committee. There will never be a need or a request for any kind of zoning rule hearing or any questioning of building specifications. Hobo Haven is all about freedom.

Another key point of Hobo Haven is the distribution center, located in the middle of the island. Located next to the ’40 and Wine’ retail outlet, the cart will provide the residents with things like toothbrushes and paper bags for wine bottles. There are also four clothing bins for any fashion emergency. In addition to this, the world’s fine dining restaurants will drop off their leftovers into very pristine dumpsters for the inhabitants of Hobo Haven to feast on.

Supply deliveries will be via weekly air drops, and some of the residents will be required to get the supplies to their respective distribution areas. This will operate on a rotation basis among the populace.

Some of the other features include a beautiful park to pass out drunk in. Plenty of bench space has been provided to accommodate every resident.

There is a great dental plan, tailored to meet the needs of the homeless. Extractions are half off and emergency care is 10% off on Thursdays and Saturdays.

I am a bit concerned about the initial testing though. Some time into the simulation, the homeless people became home…er…ahhh…more. They had a residence, let’s just say that. So then, actual homeless people moved onto the island and the formerly-homeless people started a petition and got the newer homeless people booted to another island.

They didn’t even give them cardboard. I may need to tweak this idea.

(Reprinted from the former blog)

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